Juarez, Mexico 2012

The title of this blog might conjure up images of violence, drug lords, murder, etc.  Funny, how the media plays with our minds isn't it? Sure, it was one of the top ten most dangerous cities in the world in 2011, but so was St. Louis.  Most of us probably wouldn't think twice about heading to St. Louis, but Juarez, that's a different story.  Many probably think we are crazy for taking our children there.  Tom and I have talked many different times about how we would feel if something happened to us or our children while we were on a mission trip.  We have come to the conclusion that there would be no better way to die. If we go where we are called, it is for the sake of the Gospel.  Nothing on this earth, even our children, is ours.  God is sovereign.  There is so much peace in that. 

On with the story.  There is this great organization called Casas por Cristo.  You can learn more about Casas here.  We took a team of 9 and three of our kids to Juarez to build a house for a family in four days.  Our team leader who works for Casas was Justin Kirklin.  He was great in so many ways.  He clearly has a heart that has been transformed by Christ.  He made it known that we were not there to help end poverty or to build a better house for a family.  We were there to make the Gospel known, and to help connect church leaders in the area to families who so desperately need Christ.  None of the work is done without the help of local churches.  In fact the churches are the ones who find the families who are need of homes, and then connect them with Casas through a waiting list.

The family we built for was a family of 7.  The mother had the same name as me, Mary Elizabeth, except in Spanish of course.  She had five children,  including a baby that was 3 weeks old.  We learned before the build, that her husband was not a believer, and so we prayed as we built the house.
He stayed inside with the baby, but Maria stayed outside with her other children, and our team while we worked.  She played with my kids, she helped them hammer nails in wood scraps, and they built with left over wood pieces.  She brought out the toys they did have, and my kids played with hers.  There was no barrier.  They could not talk to each other because of the language difference, but they played together.  It was a beautiful thing to watch as a mother of young children.

I don't want my kids to be sheltered from the rest of the world, as we tend to do here in America.  I also do not want to instill fear in them.  I want them to see how God works all over the world, and how His love has no borders.  That is why we took our kids.  We did not take Owen.  We thought I would not be able to help with the building as much, with chasing after him. ( Thank you to Heather Barker, Sara Parker, Kylie and Ben Sexton, and Michelle Heath for watching him.)

Kelsey O'Dell speaks Spanish very well, and she was the one responsible for letting me hold the new baby.  Let me tell you, it was unlike anything I have ever felt before.  Sure, I have had my share of baby holding, but the flood of emotions I felt at that moment was great.  I felt a connection with Maria, as a mother, wife, and child of God.  I realized in that moment how much she needs God's grace daily, just like I do.  I could not communicate verbally with her, but I could feel God was connecting us.  It's really unexplainable.

As most of you know, the family gave us a puppy that we smuggled into the US.  We didn't try to hide her while crossing the border, Ellie just held her, and nothing was asked.  We took her to the vet and she is a healthy little puppy, about 6-8 weeks old.  We named her Ria, after Maria.  She reminds me daily of the family in Juarez, that we shared God's great love with. 

I could say so much more. I will say it was hard to come home.  I did miss Owen tremendously, but I can't explain how I felt.  Many would want to get back to our comfortable living here in the states, but God is teaching me daily, that my comfort is not what the Gospel is about.  It's about Him, and nothing else.

Christmas Cards?

This was the first Christmas card.  To read the story go to www.victoriana.com/christmas/card1st-99.htm

So, lately I have been questioning the purpose of a lot of things.  I think we do things because other people do it, or because we have always done it, or because we just like to do it.  We also don't want to offend people so we just go along with the status quo.  Is that really how life should be lived?  SO much has been on our hearts this year.  We are seeing that life can be simplified, and God can be given the glory. 

One of those things I question the purpose of is Christmas Cards.  Some of you are thinking that it is kind, and you send them to show your friendship.  If we are honest, I think we do it because we feel like we have to.  That's not the way it should be.   I used to put a lot of time and effort into making my own cards, but looking back it was selfish.  I wanted others to think my card was so great, and it really glorified myself.  I love being crafty, but it was more than anything a waste of money.  I am realizing a lot of crafty projects are a waste of money, if the end result does not serve a purpose.  Sorry Pinterest addicts.  Let's face it, our money could go to something more, something greater. 

Being a mom of four, I really don't have time to sign our family name on a pretty card that is going to be thrown away, unless you are the crafty type who uses old Christmas cards.  Most all of the cards we receive just have a signature, and some are even pre-printed.  The photo cards, that I have even sent in the past, are just a way to show off our children, who by the way, are not perfect.  I can understand sending photos to relatives who live far away and who don't have facebook to see photos, but most people have facebook and already know what my children look like.

Now, if I did send out cards this year, I would definitely put time and effort into writing personalized notes in them.  That can be very encouraging, and there is purpose in that.  I am going to brag on my brother here.  Seth sent me the sweetest birthday card, that pretty much made me cry.  He personalized it.  The snoopy on the front was cute, but the most important part was his message.  I think that should be the purpose of cards.  

So, we are not sending out cards this year.  Sorry Dad, we are not supporting the USPS.  The money we would have spent has already went towards the World Vision gifts we bought for those in need and also to Lottie Moon.  Our friends already know we care about them and love them.  I hope I don't have to send out a card for them to know that.

Our Christmas has been extremely simple and stress free this year.  We do not have to go buy gifts.  When I go out to Walmart and see all the stuff I could be buying, I think about Christ, because I don't have to think about what gift I am going to buy for someone who doesn't need it anyway.  We are
not sending out Christmas cards.  No, we are not the Grinch family.  I'm sure many think we are crazy, or we are not showing love.  Think what you want.  We are just trying to bring purpose to Christmas, and not just talk about doing it.  It's not about tradition, it's not about stuff, it's not about us.  It's all about Him.

Love Under the Tree- A Radical Christmas

My husband has never been fond of Santa.  This has been an issue since we've been married.  He did not want to celebrate Santa with our kids.  This was hard for me.  I grew up waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve, and I just thought it was so much fun!  Well, it's been ten years, and I think I'm finally convinced.  The fun may have just been plain selfishness.  I think I gave too much time and energy to Santa and Rudolph.  I know many who are reading this are already yelling at me, but just keep reading.

Tom came to me about a month ago and told me that we should not do any gifts this year, even for the kids.  He handed me the World Vision gift catalog, and told me we should use our money to help others.  Okay, I'm not going to lie, at first I thought my kids would be totally devastated.  I felt bad for our kids.  I thought of them having to hear what everyone else got from Santa, and then they would have to say that Santa didn't come to their house.  Sad right??  What was sad was my way of thinking.  Really? Our kids need more toys? Our kids need stuff to satisfy?  What was I thinking?  Oh, that's right, I was thinking along the lines of the rest of our country, not about the Gospel.

I thought about all the Christmas presents Santa brought me when I was a kid.  At least I tried to.  I could not remember much about what I got.  I can remember being greatly upset when I did not get what I wanted.  I also tried to remember when I believed in Santa, and I can only remember when I figured Santa out.   I remembered that I enjoyed being with family the most.  My parents didn't have to get me the best gifts.  I know they spent way too much on us at Christmas.  I just loved being together.

We just finished reading Radical, by David Platt, in our growth group.  A great book, that will challenge you in many ways.  Well, I guess you could say we are going to have a radical Christmas.  We are going to turn our house upside down, and only put love under the tree.  We do have a tree up, and stockings hung.  We even have a train under our tree.  We just want our kids to see the needs of others, and learn from a young age that not everything is about them.  Hopefully, they will look back and learn something from Christmas.

So, we sat down as a family and talked about the gifts in the World Vision Catalog.  Tom and I told them that we were not getting presents for them or for other family members.  We picked out the gifts we wanted to give, and which family member the gift was in honor of.  This was a little confusing for Harry and Silas.  At first, I think they thought we were going to give rabbits and chickens to Grandma and Grandpa!  So, we made our list, and here it is.  We are giving seeds, chickens, rabbits, ducks, a goat, and a sheep.  All of these gifts will help provide food and/or clothes for someone.  They will help children and families in poverty. 

So, if anyone asks my kids what they want Santa to bring them, be prepared.  They are going to say that Santa is not coming to our house.  They will probably say a duck or a chicken.  Please don't feel sorry for my kids.  Please don't judge us.  If anything, I hope this moves others to think of those less fortunate.  Do we really need the latest iphone or ipad?  Do we really need to see our kids eyes light up?  Really?  Doesn't that just feed our own ego? Are our kids going to be better off because they have stuff or nice clothes?  Isn't the heart really the issue?  Christ should suffice.  (Do we really need that kitchenaid mixer?  Believe me, I have already thought about giving it up.)

It's getting more uncomfortable for Tom and I to live in this country.  I'm sure this surprises no one.  We are all too focused on self, our careers, our stuff, and even our families.  It's very discouraging at times.   During those discouraging times, I go to the Gospel and remember what Christ did for us.  I remember Him.  I'm not sure what God has in store for us.  I do know the Gospel is not about us and what we want or what our children want.  It is about Christ, His love, and His grace.  What can you do to put love under your tree this year?



“Radical obedience to Christ is not easy... It's not comfort, not health, not wealth, and not prosperity in this world. Radical obedience to Christ risks losing all these things. But in the end, such risk finds its reward in Christ. And he is more than enough for us.”
― David Platt, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream

Four is not enough....

Well, as some of you know, God has laid it on our hearts that we need more kids.  We have always talked about adoption and being foster parents, and now that is going to become a reality.  At the beginning of our marriage, I think we talked about being foster parents later in life, you know, when your nest is empty.  I don't think ours will ever be empty, because I believe God can use us and our home to house those in need.   We also have talked about adoption, and I believe we will adopt some day.

I'm sure those of you that have been to our house, our questioning this right now. We barely have room for the four we already have.  We have one extra bed, that someone needs to fill.  There is not need to put it off.  We can make excuses like we don't have enough money, or time, or space.  God does not say, do that when you feel comfortable doing that.  He clearly told us, NOW!  We have filled out the paper work with the Missouri Baptist Children's Home, and we start some classes next Monday.  We have decided to take on therapeutic foster care, which will be more challenging for all of us.  It will be a growing experience for me for sure!

We had the paper work for several months, and I put off filling it out.  You see this isn't the easiest thing in the world to do.  It is so much easier to talk about, then to put into action.  I could let myself worry about lots of different things like what if I can't handle the behaviors we might see, or how it could affect my kids, but that is not fully trusting in God.  God is sovereign, and His way is not always easy or comfortable, but it is the best way.  We can do this, and I know my children will be affected by this, but in a positive way.  They need to see us helping others in need.  I want them to know how to love others like Jesus did.

My biggest fear now is wanting to adopt everyone that comes in our home.  We will see, God will lead.  I am looking forward to the next 10 weeks though.  Every Monday will be date night for Tom and I, since we have to go to class together!

I plan on blogging about our journey as a family through these exciting times! Anyone with experience with foster care, feel free to give words of wisdom!

Over the last ten years...

Over the last ten years I have learned, and I am still learning...

10. that communication is extremely important in any relationship.

9.  how crucial it is to admit wrong and ask for forgiveness.

8.  to live in understanding and compassion with each other.

7.  that encouragement and support are a necessity.

6.  there will be disagreement and disappointment, the key is how you handle it.

5.  our lives need to be intertwined with Christ and what He did for us.

4.  to check Tom's pockets when doing the laundry( I've washed several checks).

3.  that being selfless is sometimes hard but you have to just do it.

2.  to be content with my circumstances and to rejoice always.

1.  that love is our life source.  It never fails.

Thank you Tom for the last ten years.  I love you so much and look forward to many more years together.  This journey has been so exciting, and I can't believe how much things have changed over the last ten years.  Our journey is far from over.  Love you Tommy!

Camping With the Crowe's

So, last weekend we went camping.  Here are a few highlights of our trip. 


1- The kids enjoyed peeing outside.  While this is nice because I don't have to clean pee off the floor, it was a little embarrassing when Silas peed off the porch when we got home.

2- It is great to get away from TV, phones, etc.  All we have is the great outdoors to play in.  The kids get exhausted from running around all day.

3-Tom got to take the boat out, and he took the kids fishing with him.  Harry was not so thrilled to be in the boat, while Silas really liked it.  I am always amazed at how different they really are.

4- We enjoy cooking on the campfire.  We made foil packs with meat and veggies, we roasted hot dogs, and we always have dessert.  We had smores, little pies, and banana boats (my personal favorite).

5- We used our new tent.  We discovered it is larger than our bedroom at home.  It is super nice and roomy.  We could have fit Dan and Mones in there with us!

6- In the middle of the night, Tom and I heard the sound of someone walking past our tent in the leaves.  I whispered to Tom to go see what or who it was.  He looked out the tent to see only a raccoon trying to get in our trash.

7-While putting on my shoe, something felt funny so I took it off and reached my hand in to take out the culprit.  I had a large spider in my hand when I pulled it out.  Spiders do not usually bother me, but  I was a little alarmed when that was what was in my shoe.

8- So, the kids wanted to fish. No one had had any luck catching anything all day.  We went to the marina to fish.  Silas decided to leave his Cars fishing pole alone to go pet a dog.  I am holding Owen, who had just fallen asleep.  I looked at his pole and thought to myself, I bet he looses his pole in the water when a fish bites it.  Sure enough, as soon as I yelled for Silas to get his pole,  it started to bob under.  I was the closest one to the pole.  With Owen in tow, I grabbed the pole and caught the fish, illegally I might add.  I did not have my license.  That was the only catch all weekend. 

9- We took the kids on a bike ride around the campgrounds.  Tom and I did not have our bikes, so we walked and pushed Owen in the stroller.  Ellie is having a hard time getting used to riding her bike.  We were going down hill, and Tom told Ellie to use her brake.  Of course she did not listen, and instead put her feet down to try to stop.  We watched her go all the way down the hill screaming for her daddy to help.  She screamed her way right into a tree, but managed to stay on the bike.  Let's just say it was a little more than dramatic.

10- We decided that the next time we go camping, we are going to stay longer.  We have to pack up too much stuff to only stay two nights. 

We had a great time,  and we really love to do it.  It is something we hope our kids will never forget.  Next destination, Disney World with the grandparents and Seth! 

Daddy

About a week ago, while I was helping Tom with dinner (yes, I said helping Tom, he is the best cook), he told me that he had been praying with Ellie when he takes her to school in the mornings.  He asks her what she wants to pray for, and it has become their little thing.  I just love watching the relationship that he has with her.  It is so tender and nurturing.

I have to admit, I felt a little guilty.  I know I don't pray enough with our kids.  We say the bedtime prayers and the mealtime prayers, but they can become so routine, that they are just words coming from our mouths.  I have been burdened about this, and have been wanting to be a better example of how to pray. I will come back to this in a moment. 

Yesterday, when Tom took Ellie to school, he had forgotten to pray for whatever reason, and when they got to school, Ellie said, "Daddy aren't we going to pray?" I think this really moved Tom, and showed him what an impact that he has on her.  I love, love, love, how Tom leads our family.

With that story in mind, last night in our growth group at our house, we talked about calling the Spirit, "Daddy."  It is such an intimate term, and something that I don't think about too often.  He is our daddy, or Abba.  When I think of the Holy Spirit in this way, I feel safe and at peace, just like a child who cries out for "Daddy." This study of the Holy Spirit is so moving to me.  I recommend Forgotten God, by Francis Chan.  http://www.forgottengod.com/
It will open your eyes to how we grieve the spirit, and how powerful the Spirit can be in our lives if we acknowledge Him.  It talks about how especially in our country, how much we do on our own, without seeking the Spirit and allowing Him to move.  This book might make you want to move to a different part of the world, kind of like the book Radical or the Bible for that matter. (another subject for another post)

Anyways, I am trying to make prayer time more meaningful, and I really want to teach my kids how to pray.  I want them to be genuine and honest.  I want them to pray for others that don't know God. I want them to pray for the Spirit to empower them.  We pray so often to heal this person, or help ME do this or that, etc. When was the last time you selflessly prayed for the spirit to move in your life? Try it.