Grace Like Baths

Ellie took this pic.  She gave her a make-over and then had her pose. Ha!

As most of you know, we are living with my grandparents and are assisting them, when needed, around the house.  This past week, Granny was starting to look a little distraught, and I knew she hadn't had a bath in a while, so I just suggested we head to the bathroom to clean up.  I know I always feel ten times better after I have a shower, so I knew it would lift her spirits.  Grandad does his best to help her clean up, but it's not easy for him, so she doesn't get the privilege of taking baths very often.

We made it to the bathroom, and eventually to the seat in the bathtub.  I started showering her off, and she loved every minute of it.  She kept saying how good it felt.  It was a sweet time for me.  It was a role reversal.  I remember she used to be the one filling my bathtub, cleaning me off.  She still has the same bath toys on the side of the tub that I used to play with.  It seems like it was only yesterday really.  I thought about how she used to care for me, and now I am the one caring for her.

 It's like grace and the love God has for His children.  God showed His love for us by sending Jesus, and because of what He did on the cross for me I want to share that love with others.  The bath is coming full circle.  Granny did for me, and now I do for her.  Christ died for me, and I should die to self to live for Him.  It was a much needed reminder, and I love how God uses the everyday things, like baths to remind me of the grace He poured out on the cross. 

God also uses these sweet, tender moments to reassure me that living here is a part of His plan.  I can get so frustrated, and become so selfish, wanting my own place, that my mind gets clouded.  It's really very similar to a child pouting.  I start feeling sorry for myself.  It's so silly really, and I am so thankful God gives me these times to bring me back to reality.  This life is not about me.  I am not in control of it anyway, no matter how hard I try to control all my circumstances.  When my heart and mind are focused on Christ, all my petty wants don't seem to matter.  Christ should always be my heart's cry.  Maybe I need to give Granny a bath everyday.

Out of the mouths of babes...

Well, I haven't blogged in a while, and my little ones have been saying some remarkable things.  I thought I need to document some of these so I don't forget.  Kids often surprise us in the words that come out of their mouths.  Most of the time, they are blatantly honest.

This was a crazy car moment.  We have plenty of these moments as well! Ha!

The car is one place where our kids talk, and talk, and talk, and talk.  Did I mention they talk in the car?    We don't have a DVD player to entertain them while driving, so we often have great conversations.  Yesterday was one of those days.

It was Harry, Silas, Owen, and me.  As most of you know, Owen does most of the listening, so this conversation was between Silas, Harry, and me.  Their great-grandad Harry had just bought them Happy Meals, which is a treat around our house.  Grandad was not in the car with us, but he was the topic of conversation.  Those of you who know my grandad will appreciate this.

Me: "You know what you should tell Grandad for getting the happy meals for you?"

Harry:"Yes, we should tell him thank you."

Silas: " Ya, we should do that.  He is so nice.  I love Grandad.  I'm probably gonna cry when he dies."

It was a moment I wish I could have recorded.  Silas meant what he said with all his heart.  The love my little boy has in his heart is immense.  It amazes me how children think.

We continued to discuss how the toy in the happy meal would only be fun for a while, and then they would want a new toy.  I reminded them that our joy does not come from stuff, but from God.  The conversation was starting to get deep. Ha! I don't remember everything I said, but I do remember this...

Silas: " Well, we can't see God, but I still love him, and I know he exists."

I reaffirmed what he said, and talked about how we can see God through creation, etc.  I was just blown away by him using the word "exists." It was a great reminder to me also.  I love how the Holy Spirit uses moments like these to remind me that He is in control, and to remind me of the grace I have been freely given.

 I can see God working in the hearts of my kids.  I love it.  I love my kids bonding with their great-grandparents.  I love car conversations.

Thy not My

The past month has been filled with lots of emotions.  Moving is stressful enough, but on top of that, we have moved in with my grandparents, who require some assistance.  The first week we were here I spent taking Grandad to urgent care, taking Granny to the ER, and taking care of my sick husband.  Oh, and yes, I was also taking care of a few sick children.  I thought I might lose my mind.  Grandad ended up in the hospital with pneumonia, and Tom was sick up until he started his new job.  It was definitely a sick house, and I played nurse to the best of my ability.  So many times, my will and my agenda was pushed to the side, and it would start to bother me.  Those little voices of pride and selfishness would set in.  

Boys with their Great-Granny

However, one of the great things about the Gospel is that the "my" is turned to "Thy."  Through this last month I have been reminded numerous times that when I am focused on "Thy will" and on what Christ has done, I rejoice in my circumstances.  I cannot think of a better place to be than sleeping in my grandparents' basement, fixing their meals, repeating my words at least two times, making my Granny sit still, listening to some new and some old stories, and doing laundry for 8 people.  Our kids bring them so much joy, and they have said that many times. 

My kids have benefited as well from this.  Many might think we are insane, moving our children from comfort, but I have already seen the benefits.  Ellie told me when I am old she is going to take care of me, like we are taking care of Granny and Grandad.  That meant so much, coming from her sweet little seven year-old heart.  It also meant she sees what we are doing for the special elderly in our life. 

Remembering what Christ did for me, moves me to do for my grandparents, children, and husband.  My joy in Christ urges me to be joyful in any circumstance.  I can't say it's always easy, but I will say it is always rewarding, whether it is spending 3 hours in urgent care with Grandad, or filling up Granny's weekly medicine container, I think of Christ.  I do because He did for me.  It's just that simple.

Take time every day to pause and pray, "Thy not my."

Juarez, Mexico 2012

The title of this blog might conjure up images of violence, drug lords, murder, etc.  Funny, how the media plays with our minds isn't it? Sure, it was one of the top ten most dangerous cities in the world in 2011, but so was St. Louis.  Most of us probably wouldn't think twice about heading to St. Louis, but Juarez, that's a different story.  Many probably think we are crazy for taking our children there.  Tom and I have talked many different times about how we would feel if something happened to us or our children while we were on a mission trip.  We have come to the conclusion that there would be no better way to die. If we go where we are called, it is for the sake of the Gospel.  Nothing on this earth, even our children, is ours.  God is sovereign.  There is so much peace in that. 

On with the story.  There is this great organization called Casas por Cristo.  You can learn more about Casas here.  We took a team of 9 and three of our kids to Juarez to build a house for a family in four days.  Our team leader who works for Casas was Justin Kirklin.  He was great in so many ways.  He clearly has a heart that has been transformed by Christ.  He made it known that we were not there to help end poverty or to build a better house for a family.  We were there to make the Gospel known, and to help connect church leaders in the area to families who so desperately need Christ.  None of the work is done without the help of local churches.  In fact the churches are the ones who find the families who are need of homes, and then connect them with Casas through a waiting list.

The family we built for was a family of 7.  The mother had the same name as me, Mary Elizabeth, except in Spanish of course.  She had five children,  including a baby that was 3 weeks old.  We learned before the build, that her husband was not a believer, and so we prayed as we built the house.
He stayed inside with the baby, but Maria stayed outside with her other children, and our team while we worked.  She played with my kids, she helped them hammer nails in wood scraps, and they built with left over wood pieces.  She brought out the toys they did have, and my kids played with hers.  There was no barrier.  They could not talk to each other because of the language difference, but they played together.  It was a beautiful thing to watch as a mother of young children.

I don't want my kids to be sheltered from the rest of the world, as we tend to do here in America.  I also do not want to instill fear in them.  I want them to see how God works all over the world, and how His love has no borders.  That is why we took our kids.  We did not take Owen.  We thought I would not be able to help with the building as much, with chasing after him. ( Thank you to Heather Barker, Sara Parker, Kylie and Ben Sexton, and Michelle Heath for watching him.)

Kelsey O'Dell speaks Spanish very well, and she was the one responsible for letting me hold the new baby.  Let me tell you, it was unlike anything I have ever felt before.  Sure, I have had my share of baby holding, but the flood of emotions I felt at that moment was great.  I felt a connection with Maria, as a mother, wife, and child of God.  I realized in that moment how much she needs God's grace daily, just like I do.  I could not communicate verbally with her, but I could feel God was connecting us.  It's really unexplainable.

As most of you know, the family gave us a puppy that we smuggled into the US.  We didn't try to hide her while crossing the border, Ellie just held her, and nothing was asked.  We took her to the vet and she is a healthy little puppy, about 6-8 weeks old.  We named her Ria, after Maria.  She reminds me daily of the family in Juarez, that we shared God's great love with. 

I could say so much more. I will say it was hard to come home.  I did miss Owen tremendously, but I can't explain how I felt.  Many would want to get back to our comfortable living here in the states, but God is teaching me daily, that my comfort is not what the Gospel is about.  It's about Him, and nothing else.

Christmas Cards?

This was the first Christmas card.  To read the story go to www.victoriana.com/christmas/card1st-99.htm

So, lately I have been questioning the purpose of a lot of things.  I think we do things because other people do it, or because we have always done it, or because we just like to do it.  We also don't want to offend people so we just go along with the status quo.  Is that really how life should be lived?  SO much has been on our hearts this year.  We are seeing that life can be simplified, and God can be given the glory. 

One of those things I question the purpose of is Christmas Cards.  Some of you are thinking that it is kind, and you send them to show your friendship.  If we are honest, I think we do it because we feel like we have to.  That's not the way it should be.   I used to put a lot of time and effort into making my own cards, but looking back it was selfish.  I wanted others to think my card was so great, and it really glorified myself.  I love being crafty, but it was more than anything a waste of money.  I am realizing a lot of crafty projects are a waste of money, if the end result does not serve a purpose.  Sorry Pinterest addicts.  Let's face it, our money could go to something more, something greater. 

Being a mom of four, I really don't have time to sign our family name on a pretty card that is going to be thrown away, unless you are the crafty type who uses old Christmas cards.  Most all of the cards we receive just have a signature, and some are even pre-printed.  The photo cards, that I have even sent in the past, are just a way to show off our children, who by the way, are not perfect.  I can understand sending photos to relatives who live far away and who don't have facebook to see photos, but most people have facebook and already know what my children look like.

Now, if I did send out cards this year, I would definitely put time and effort into writing personalized notes in them.  That can be very encouraging, and there is purpose in that.  I am going to brag on my brother here.  Seth sent me the sweetest birthday card, that pretty much made me cry.  He personalized it.  The snoopy on the front was cute, but the most important part was his message.  I think that should be the purpose of cards.  

So, we are not sending out cards this year.  Sorry Dad, we are not supporting the USPS.  The money we would have spent has already went towards the World Vision gifts we bought for those in need and also to Lottie Moon.  Our friends already know we care about them and love them.  I hope I don't have to send out a card for them to know that.

Our Christmas has been extremely simple and stress free this year.  We do not have to go buy gifts.  When I go out to Walmart and see all the stuff I could be buying, I think about Christ, because I don't have to think about what gift I am going to buy for someone who doesn't need it anyway.  We are
not sending out Christmas cards.  No, we are not the Grinch family.  I'm sure many think we are crazy, or we are not showing love.  Think what you want.  We are just trying to bring purpose to Christmas, and not just talk about doing it.  It's not about tradition, it's not about stuff, it's not about us.  It's all about Him.

Love Under the Tree- A Radical Christmas

My husband has never been fond of Santa.  This has been an issue since we've been married.  He did not want to celebrate Santa with our kids.  This was hard for me.  I grew up waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve, and I just thought it was so much fun!  Well, it's been ten years, and I think I'm finally convinced.  The fun may have just been plain selfishness.  I think I gave too much time and energy to Santa and Rudolph.  I know many who are reading this are already yelling at me, but just keep reading.

Tom came to me about a month ago and told me that we should not do any gifts this year, even for the kids.  He handed me the World Vision gift catalog, and told me we should use our money to help others.  Okay, I'm not going to lie, at first I thought my kids would be totally devastated.  I felt bad for our kids.  I thought of them having to hear what everyone else got from Santa, and then they would have to say that Santa didn't come to their house.  Sad right??  What was sad was my way of thinking.  Really? Our kids need more toys? Our kids need stuff to satisfy?  What was I thinking?  Oh, that's right, I was thinking along the lines of the rest of our country, not about the Gospel.

I thought about all the Christmas presents Santa brought me when I was a kid.  At least I tried to.  I could not remember much about what I got.  I can remember being greatly upset when I did not get what I wanted.  I also tried to remember when I believed in Santa, and I can only remember when I figured Santa out.   I remembered that I enjoyed being with family the most.  My parents didn't have to get me the best gifts.  I know they spent way too much on us at Christmas.  I just loved being together.

We just finished reading Radical, by David Platt, in our growth group.  A great book, that will challenge you in many ways.  Well, I guess you could say we are going to have a radical Christmas.  We are going to turn our house upside down, and only put love under the tree.  We do have a tree up, and stockings hung.  We even have a train under our tree.  We just want our kids to see the needs of others, and learn from a young age that not everything is about them.  Hopefully, they will look back and learn something from Christmas.

So, we sat down as a family and talked about the gifts in the World Vision Catalog.  Tom and I told them that we were not getting presents for them or for other family members.  We picked out the gifts we wanted to give, and which family member the gift was in honor of.  This was a little confusing for Harry and Silas.  At first, I think they thought we were going to give rabbits and chickens to Grandma and Grandpa!  So, we made our list, and here it is.  We are giving seeds, chickens, rabbits, ducks, a goat, and a sheep.  All of these gifts will help provide food and/or clothes for someone.  They will help children and families in poverty. 

So, if anyone asks my kids what they want Santa to bring them, be prepared.  They are going to say that Santa is not coming to our house.  They will probably say a duck or a chicken.  Please don't feel sorry for my kids.  Please don't judge us.  If anything, I hope this moves others to think of those less fortunate.  Do we really need the latest iphone or ipad?  Do we really need to see our kids eyes light up?  Really?  Doesn't that just feed our own ego? Are our kids going to be better off because they have stuff or nice clothes?  Isn't the heart really the issue?  Christ should suffice.  (Do we really need that kitchenaid mixer?  Believe me, I have already thought about giving it up.)

It's getting more uncomfortable for Tom and I to live in this country.  I'm sure this surprises no one.  We are all too focused on self, our careers, our stuff, and even our families.  It's very discouraging at times.   During those discouraging times, I go to the Gospel and remember what Christ did for us.  I remember Him.  I'm not sure what God has in store for us.  I do know the Gospel is not about us and what we want or what our children want.  It is about Christ, His love, and His grace.  What can you do to put love under your tree this year?



“Radical obedience to Christ is not easy... It's not comfort, not health, not wealth, and not prosperity in this world. Radical obedience to Christ risks losing all these things. But in the end, such risk finds its reward in Christ. And he is more than enough for us.”
― David Platt, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream

Four is not enough....

Well, as some of you know, God has laid it on our hearts that we need more kids.  We have always talked about adoption and being foster parents, and now that is going to become a reality.  At the beginning of our marriage, I think we talked about being foster parents later in life, you know, when your nest is empty.  I don't think ours will ever be empty, because I believe God can use us and our home to house those in need.   We also have talked about adoption, and I believe we will adopt some day.

I'm sure those of you that have been to our house, our questioning this right now. We barely have room for the four we already have.  We have one extra bed, that someone needs to fill.  There is not need to put it off.  We can make excuses like we don't have enough money, or time, or space.  God does not say, do that when you feel comfortable doing that.  He clearly told us, NOW!  We have filled out the paper work with the Missouri Baptist Children's Home, and we start some classes next Monday.  We have decided to take on therapeutic foster care, which will be more challenging for all of us.  It will be a growing experience for me for sure!

We had the paper work for several months, and I put off filling it out.  You see this isn't the easiest thing in the world to do.  It is so much easier to talk about, then to put into action.  I could let myself worry about lots of different things like what if I can't handle the behaviors we might see, or how it could affect my kids, but that is not fully trusting in God.  God is sovereign, and His way is not always easy or comfortable, but it is the best way.  We can do this, and I know my children will be affected by this, but in a positive way.  They need to see us helping others in need.  I want them to know how to love others like Jesus did.

My biggest fear now is wanting to adopt everyone that comes in our home.  We will see, God will lead.  I am looking forward to the next 10 weeks though.  Every Monday will be date night for Tom and I, since we have to go to class together!

I plan on blogging about our journey as a family through these exciting times! Anyone with experience with foster care, feel free to give words of wisdom!