Flowers, Bibles, and Anniversaries

It's been a long time since I've blogged, and since my Grandad's passing, I have been itching to put my feelings into words.  I feel I have so much I want to remember, and so much I want my kids to be able to look back on someday, so blogging only seems logical.

We are grateful to be a part of a church that teaches truth and seeks to reach our community with that Truth.  Carson taught last Sunday, which happened to be the day after we buried my Grandad Harry. God used Carson to speak to my heart, which was heavy with grief and hope at the same time.  As my uncle would put it, my grief was informed by the Gospel.  This brings such great peace.  Peace that only God can provide when you lose someone you love so dearly.  My take away from Carson's teaching was I need to be still, and be in the word.   I love my bible app, and it is so convenient, but something Carson said stuck with me.  Basically that my phone, or ipad that I use to read the Word on can be distracting.  I will be drawn to check twitter, or email, or facebook.  Don't get me wrong, the You Version app is very convenient.

Well, Tom and I had discussed this and talked about how we fail to be still, or be in the Word at all.  I fail very, very often.  Seems my priorities are out of whack. It's ironic, and a total God thing that the day before this message, we buried my Grandad with his Bible that he preached from, read from, studied from, and wrote all over with his precious hands.

"Show me the condition of your Bible and I will accurately gauge the condition of your soul." AW Tozer

His priorities seemed to always be Christ first and foremost, and even in his death, God is using the life of my grandad to speak to my heart.

After church that day, I went home to browse our bookshelf of Bibles that we rarely open because of our handy dandy bible app.  I couldn't find the ESV bible I thought I had, but did find an NIV.  It was refreshing to read out of an actual bible, and I could block out distractions that I didn't realize were distractions before.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect, and still don't spend the amount of time I need with the Lord.  I just feel more sensitive to thinking about these things, and want to be able to point others to Christ, which can only happen when I am communing with Him.

So, today just happened to be our anniversary.  Fourteen years. Time flies when you're having fun! I've never been a fan of flowers for gifts.  I do love flowers and their beauty, but they don't last. They kind of depress me in a way, because they remind me of the sin in this world because they wither and die.  I have these roses from my Grandad's funeral/gravesite that are slowly withering away.  They remind me of my life without Christ. I can try my hardest to take care of them but I have no power to keep them alive.  Same applies to us, we can try till we cry, but only our Sovereign Father can transform and bring life.

I went to work as usual today, playing with toddlers, changing diapers, reading and singing to my babies.  When it was time for my lunch break, I went out to my car to go grab some lunch.  There in the driver's seat was a new ESV Bible.  Best anniversary gift ever, because unlike flowers, the Word is Truth, and Life.  I have to admit I cried.  My emotions were plenty, and more than anything I was grateful for Christ.  I'm so thankful that though life can be messy at times, and very chaotic, that God came to rescue me through Jesus his very own son.  Hard to wrap my mind around at times.  But I will take the Bible over flowers any day.  Marriage is hard, and I know I need to be still and have a heart after God more than all the flowers in the world.  Grateful for a husband who knows I need to meet with God, more than I need him.