Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother's Day...is NOT my favorite day...

Today was Mother's Day and I have to say I'm glad it's almost over.  Too much expectation is wrapped up in this silly day.  A day to honor moms, or is it?  I can say I am fortunate to attend a church where there was no "Mother's Day" sermon.  Jesus was made much of, and not the women in the church.  I believe that's the way it should be.  I'm pretty sure, Mother's Day is not biblical by any means, and most of the time we praise moms on this day, and then preach to dads on Father's Day on how they need to be better husbands, and dads.  Because the moms are so much better than the dads? Really?  Show me that scripture, please.

Honestly, I'm a horrible, terrible, wretched sinner of a mom.  I yell at my kids when my patience is thin, and I choose to clean the bathroom instead of play games with them.  I get frustrated with my daughter, when she can't decide what to wear, and I check the latest news on facebook instead of reading one more book to my boys.  I don't always ask for forgiveness, or fess up to my mistakes, especially when I've messed up in front of my kids.  That's a tough one for me.  I constantly feel like I need to do more, and be more as a mother, so this really isn't one of my favorite days.

I also know this is a hard day for those women who struggle with infertility, and for those who have lost their mothers or daughters.  It's also a difficult day for those who have strained relationships with their mothers.  Why in the world do we celebrate today?  Why do we put our self worth on the line?  We do we have to get our emotions so tied up into just a silly day?

The truth of the matter is I'm a sinner saved by grace.  Christ died for the sinful mother I am.  I don't get it all right.  Nothing, absolutely nothing I do as a mom or a daughter, can make me a better person or save me.  NOTHING.  Without Christ there is nothing.

Do you really grasp that? I'm not asking if you believe it.  I have believed it in my head, most of my life.  I have only grasped this concept within the last couple of years, and I still have trouble truly understanding how tremendous it is.  My self worth, and how I feel is can not be wrapped up in what others do for me, or how my children treat me.  If this is how I define myself, I have set myself up for failure.  I will never, never, measure up.  I will be let down.  Others will fail me.  That's life.  I have to reach for my Savior constantly to put my perspective in place.  He is the One, True, Constant.


Thursday, February 14, 2013

True Love...There's Only One

Valentine's Day... My thoughts about this day have changed recently.  Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, but is it really a necessity to set aside one day a year to celebrate love?  Shouldn't that be our mindset every day?  (Most of my blogs consist of random thoughts in my head, so I apologize)

I'll preface this post to say, this week has been anything but lovely to me. My attitude and heart have not been lovely.  I have felt sorry for myself,  and been very selfish.   I have wanted my circumstances to change for my own benefit.  It has not been an easy week.  Today God stirred my heart, and not from a loving gesture from my husband.

Almost a year ago, we left Galloway Baptist Church where Tom was the student minister.  We had the privilege of meeting the sweet High family.  Two of their kids were in the youth group, and were very consistent in coming and bringing friends.  Abi loved on my kids, and enjoyed playing with them.  All this to say, that their mother, Terri, went to be with her True Love today.

At first, the thought of losing someone close to you on Valentine's Day, seems terrible.  I can't imagine, but sweet Abi posted on facebook about her mother being with Jesus on Valentine's Day.  It took me off guard, and the more I think about it, the more lovely it is.

Today on what the world calls "Valentine's Day," God reminded me that nothing in this world should consume my heart as much as my Savior.  N.O.T.H.I.N.G.  My selfish heart needs to daily be reminded of Christ and His love for me.  Without that there is no peace, no solace.  Without that I cannot love others.  Without that I will just feel sorry for myself, when my circumstances seem so blah. Thank you God, for speaking to me through Terri today.

Terri is with her Savior now, her one True Love.  No better day.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you High family.  We love you and wish so terribly that we could hug your necks.   Nothing in this world is pain free, not on this side of heaven.  We are not guaranteed that.  BUT, Jesus loves.  Jesus came. There's really nothing more to say.

All my love, sweet Abi, Ben, and Ken...